Why does my counsellor say so little

Just as it is common to be concerned about something a counsellor says to you, it can also be the case that you feel a little unnerved by what he or she does not say. Often we interpret silence as a sign of discomfort, or think that the person who is looking at us but saying nothing must be thinking unpleasant thoughts about us. But it is frequently the responsibility of the counsellor to be quiet, to try to give you space and let you think through your problems. Sometimes you may not have anything to say either, and this double silence can feel very strange indeed.
We are not really used to silence in Western society. Most of the time we are surrounded by noise, and we may not realise just how much of a distraction this is until we find ourselves in a quiet room with the conversation having stopped. Sometimes this can be a very peaceful experience, and help us to relax. At other times it is intimidating, and we may feel the need to fill the space with the sound of our own voice. This is not always a bad thing, especially for a client who finds it difficult to speak or be heard in other situations such as at home or at work.
A silent counsellor may be reflecting on what you have said, but more often will be offering what is called “active listening”, a deep and welcoming kind of space for you. Not everyone is comfortable with being the centre of attention, but it should be remembered that this time is for you, and it would be wasted if the counsellor's talking gave you no opportunity to express yourself. Long silences do not always happen, but when they do it does not mean that you are failing as a client or that your counsellor is being lazy. Perhaps a few minutes' peace is just what you need.